Finding your natural confidence

Confidence is tricky.  It can feel like a chicken-and-egg kind of problem.  How can I be confident in a new situation, one I have no experience with?  How can my child?

 

Most of us never had an adult talk with us about sex and relationships in a comfortable and skillful way.  Without that modeling, it makes sense that many of us lack confidence with the What and When and How of what to say.

 

Many of us actually lack confidence when it comes to this subject, which our kids pick up on, which can lead to extra awkwardness…or our kids outright refusing to talk, because we’re being too weird.

 

A lack of confidence is no less tricky for our kids.  They might be totally comfortable and confident with us at home, and completely different at school or camp with their peers.

 

Children might walk into a social situation feeling shy or nervous, unsure about their ability to make friends or navigate a conflict.  Especially if they’ve had some bad experiences, kids can be nervous about whether they’ll be able to get along with peers.

 

Yet, that confident posture and body language have such an impact.  It inspires others to have faith in us.  It shows bullies and sexual predators that we’re not easy targets.  It lets us speak up about our needs in a way that others are more likely to respect.

 

The key to bridging the gap, in my experience, is to experience yourself as competent. 

 

That means being given a challenge that’s within your reach to navigate.  It’s what teachers do all the time with their classes when they lead their students into the next experience, the next baby step.

 

Sometimes we as parents can craft those experiences for our kids…but sometimes we don’t know how.

 

Being challenged in baby steps is not necessarily what the real world deals you – quite the opposite!  The real world can easily overwhelm us so that we sink into inaction.

 

Then comes the negative self-talk, the “I’m just no good at this” kind of criticism that women are so much more prone to than men.

 

But this isn’t about low self-esteem!  No, it’s about lack of adequate training.

 

If you can relate to what I’m talking about, for yourself or your child, I invite you join us for a day of skill building, so that we can lead you along those baby steps.

 

A day where you and your child can experience yourselves as competent and leave with a new confidence.

 

You’re warmly invited to our brand spankin’ new Mother-Daughter Empowerment Day-treat.  This is a one-day retreat for Mamas (or mother figures) and their daughters (or daughter figures) ages 10-14 years old.

 

We’ll be focusing on various empowerment topics, from how to create ongoing conversations with your daughters, to how to be assertive yet kind when setting boundaries, to just-in-case real-life self-defense training.  And more!  Check out our schedule of workshops for the day.

 

I hope you’ll consider joining us.  Early bird registration is available now, and we expect to sell out.  And if the date or location isn’t quite right for you, hit reply and let me know!  Perhaps we can create an event for you.

 

In support of you,

 

Anya

 

 

PS. Come see me in September at the Diversity in Parenting Conference!  Early Bird tickets are still on sale – but not for long.  This ticket price ends on March 31st. Starting April 1st, the price for the conference will go up.  Don’t miss out on being a part of this revolutionary conference. Get your Early Bird tickets here:  http://bit.ly/DIPconference

 

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