Have you heard of “doing”? I hadn’t, not until I read Gia Lynne’s new book On Blossoming.
Turns out, doing is a regular, openly talked about practice within her community, one she’d heard about as a teen and later deliberately set up for herself to be one of her first sexual experiences with a partner.
Now, this is not the focus of the book, but it is a whole chapter, in which Gia describes all the details.
So I decided this would be a great interview! Watch below to check it out:
We discuss many things:
- How her community’s focus on pleasure is different than what you and I grew up with
- Why her parents deliberately avoided telling her or her sister that they were pretty
- The communication skills that she learned from doing and why it simplifies consent
Connect with Gia at her website**
**While I endorse Gia’s book, I do NOT endorse the MeetUp group, community, or the classes they offer.
The community is controversial, called a “sex cult” by some. I do not hold Gia accountable for her associations or the crimes of others.
However, if I learn that the book leads readers to the groups, or that proceeds from the book support the groups, this post and all endorsement of the book will be removed from this site.
Read on for an account of a founding member’s (now ex-member) experience.
“I am a firm believer in everyone’s right to freedom of speech, and freedom to live their lives as they choose, Including sexually. Your body and your mind are yours to experience and to choose what feels true and right. There is a line though where this freedom ends, and it is not blurred or a gray area.
When a person or community causes harm, especially to minors, they clearly cross that line. RJ Testerman, the author’s father, was 32 years old and I was 12 when he started grooming me. At 13 we started having sex, at 16 I left home and started working for him in San Francisco, CA. At 17 he sold me to a madam. At 18 we started building the community that would go on to become the Welcomed Consensus. This building of the community included physical violence, mostly RJ hitting any woman who “resisted” her own “pleasure.”
This community replaced my own family and took precedence over any other relationships. The author’s mother, as well as other women, also became part of this community building. Over the span of the next 40 years, things would change as they are apt to do. The beliefs we all held as true loving ways to navigate the world became fixated practices. These practices morphed into typical cult mind control manipulations purported to be based on developing love and truth between men and women.
In hindsight, it is clear this was inevitable, because RJ is a traumatizing narcissist. I believed – up until 4 years ago when I had a massive breakdown – that RJ had actually saved my life. I believed that the abuse I suffered under his tutelage was because he loved me. He always told me I could count on his love and he would give me everything I wanted and take care of me forever. The problem being, he decided what I wanted, and I believed him. It is difficult to describe what it is like to believe one thing one day, and then know something entirely opposite the next day.
The truth was painfully unveiled for me, and now I am compelled to pull back the curtain for everyone else. I started a blog to expose RJ and his group, www.TruthAboutRJ.com. It is not just for the people who remain, like his daughter who wrote this book, but all of RJ’s children and their mothers who still surround and protect him.
I have been telling my story online for 6 months now. Although people in the cult call it a smear campaign, no one has actually denied that any part of my story is true. Nor has anyone explained how RJ’s version of what happened between us, the one I swallowed for decades, was correct and just. Ostracism has been the only response.
I will continue to tell the origin story of RJ and his group. I persist for all those people I helped to recruit and helped convince to get involved on any level with RJ. I persist regardless of the pain, for the people who send me email about recognize their own abuse by RJ and the group in my telling. It is difficult to hear how RJ used my relationship with him as proof of the legitimacy of his belief system and teaching techniques that include physical and mental abuse. Finally I persist because I do actually love them and now that I understand the abusive confusion they live in will not rest until he is stopped.
I am not fighting the contents of this book; it is not for me to judge or review.
The issue is whether the book targets underage girls and leads them to Meetup groups to recruit more people into a community run by a known pedophile and pimp. Although I believe the author to be bright and loving, she was also born and raised in this community. It took me 40 years to come to terms with the truth. What can I possibly expect of her?
Like so many problematic people, communities, and institutions, there is also good that exists here. There is valuable information that changes lives. The question is, how do we move on? How do we enjoy the useful information and push back on the harmful? How do we discern what of the information is part of an abusive money making system that uses subterfuge and deceit?
The only path I see is transparency.
Anyone reading this book should know the origin of the information. Like all sex books, this needs to be evaluated through the critical lens of consent. Where does the author get authority on this subject? Part of this community’s belief system is that it didn’t matter my age, I was responsible and RJ was just responding. He would say, treating my like a full human being. It is important that people know that this group does not hold to normal social morals or even laws when it comes to sex and the age of consent.
Lastly, I want to acknowledge Anya for her immediate and compassionate response to my call, and her willingness to put it all out there, my story, the author’s story, and the interview. It is an example of integrity in information sharing and very brave. Only through open dialogue will any of us truly begin to heal.
Thanks for reading,