There’s something sacred about childhood. We adore those little people! The smaller, the more adorable, and we love the feeling of our hearts melting when they snuggle in for a cuddle.
Your small child is so in love with you, it’s easy to take it for granted. To think you’ll always have this kind of influence over them. But it doesn’t last…
Well, to be clear, the love lasts, but not the influence, not in the same way. We have to work to show our kids our value, why they should keep listening to us, when we have no idea how to fit in with the 7th graders at their school…which is their primary mission in life right now.
And yet, you and I both know that even though their bodies are bigger, even though they’re so articulate (or not), so capable (or not), they’re more vulnerable than ever.
They feel like they know it all, because they’re big fish in a small pond. That pond is so safe (by design!), and they have this false sense of safety about the world, sure they can navigate it all on their own. That false confidence will get them in over their heads, guaranteed.
The earlier we start preparing them for this moment, the better. Not only are we earning our stripes as valued advisors, they’re getting practice with key skills before the stakes get crazy high.
My goal is for every child to have the skills they need to stay safe and healthy as they learn who they are. I don’t want your child to be taken advantage of by sexual abusers, insensitive partners, advertisers or the porn industry.
It’s a big goal, but totally achievable, and the path there feels great, because we get to have so many sweet and intimate conversations with our little loves. Plus we don’t have to worry about them. Wouldn’t it be nice to know you didn’t have to worry?
There’s ONE SKILL that outweighs all the others. Critical thinking is great. Understanding all the usual sex-ed topics, like contraception, sexually transmitted infections, sexual identity…great. But if I had to choose ONE to have you and your child master, it would be Boundaries and Consent.
Here’s the kicker. You don’t know that you have terrible boundaries until you feel yourself lose control or cave. A lot of people don’t know they misunderstand consent until they’re taught better, until they’re questioning whether that uncomfortable encounter they keep putting out of their mind was actually sexual assault.
I bet that, like me, no one taught you anything about boundaries and consent, and certainly not in a skill-building kind of a way. This is the new revolution, the goal of comprehensive sex-ed and the #MeToo movement. We want everyone to be empowered, to understand consent and have excellent boundary skills.
So if you know you haven’t had the opportunity to learn about boundaries and consent, if you want to teach your child some solid skills before they need them, if you consider yourself a proactive and involved parent, here’s your next step: the Boundaries and Consent Bootcamp.
I can’t tell you how proud I feel when my little one expresses her boundaries kindly and clearly. I want you to feel that too.
One of my clients shared that her 5 year old was clearly and kindly expressing his boundaries with a cousin, and it was so effective that the cousin was picking up the speech pattern, learning to do it too.
Do you see? This isn’t just for you and your kid. It spreads. It creates a bubble of safety all around your family. If your child is overwhelmed in the moment, a cousin or friend might be able to use these skills to step in.
Please be like that client, who wanted to educate her kids early. Please don’t be like the clients who come to me with their emergencies.
- The parents with a 15 year old daughter addicted to porn.
- The parents of a middle school boy who was actively being groomed by a sexual abuser.
- The parents of a 14 year old who had a pregnancy scare.
These are all stable 2-parent middle class families, doing the best they can for their kids. But they’d skipped over this piece. Instead of an ounce of prevention, they had unwittingly opted for a pound of cure.
Of course I’ll be by your side in your emergency! But…can we please prevent that pain and sorrow?
Join us for the Boundaries and Consent Bootcamp. This is a 3 month course, November – January 2020. You’ll get:
- 6 modules to walk you through skill building healthy boundaries and creating consent culture at home
- handouts explaining action steps and transcripts of each module to assist you in implementing what you learn
- 6 Q&A calls to support your understanding and application to your unique family
- A private online discussion group where you can post questions, challenges, and triumphs, where the community and I can support you all along the journey
Can you believe October is half over? Early bird rates expire next week! I hope you’ll join us.
In support of you,
Anya
P.S. If you have any questions about the boot camp, please don’t hesitate to ask. Just email me or jump on my calendar.
